i n • p u r s u i t

Remember times before "overgramming" was a thing? When I first started blogging, it didn't matter how many times a day I posted. It didn't have to be at a certain time for optimum exposure. I didn't worry about reach. Hashtags weren't even a thing. I thought of these things this afternoon. I was going to post again and my initial thought was that I have to wait until tomorrow. After all, I've already posted today! But this is a personal blog, right? And the '00 rules of personal blogs are that it doesn't matter when you post or if you post too much. Anyway. After that blah of a post from earlier today, I did indeed drink a caffeinated beverage (any other Mio fans?) and get off my behind. The kids hung out with me in the craft room. They played with kinetic sand while I sewed. We had a candle lit, filling the room with a lovely warm scent, and listened to the dreamy, melancholy sounds of folklore . I decided to start work on the doll carriers that I...

  Every part of me feels tired. My muscles feel physically tired. My heart is emotionally weary. I feel unable to be fully present. I just want to take a nap or snuggle into my quilt and zone out. But I also feel like I should be productive. Unload the dishwasher. Make my bed. Do a load of laundry...or three. I promised the kids we would make fossils later (modeling clay and an object for the mold. Plaster for the fossil. It is pretty fun.) We took the kids to get haircuts today and it felt like a waste of money. I'm going to have to take my son in somewhere else soon. He likes his hair long, but its needs style. They don't do style at Great Clips. They just cut. My daughter really wanted her first cut. She basically got a tiny bit trimmed off the bottom. I could have done that for free. She loved it and felt like a big girl, though. I've got this painful monster of a cystic zit coming in under my eyebrow. Let me repeat. Under. My. Eyebrow. What the heck. I can't do any...

The other day, I came across this old post: What's Your Story? As I was read it, I couldn't help but think, Man! I used to really be able to write. And now, here I am, struggling to string two words together. I don't have to, however, go back to the 2004 archives to remind myself of how bad those posts are. I remember them well enough! If I was able to write about an evening so eloquently, it is the product of practice. Like I tell my six year old all the time, no one is good at something the first time they try. (Which is false, of course, some people are good beginners. But they are outliers.) I really would like to be a better writer again. I have a hankering to pick blogging back up. Not for the sake of blogs today. I have no desire to be monetized. No, I just want to write like I used to. I feel like my blogging started to go to crap when I compared my blog to others. I wanted consistent features. I wanted to be a beauty or fashion blogger. I definitely wanted to be ...

i've been listening to this album on repeat and i am obsessed

I snapped at my kids this morning. I was trying to video chat and my kids kept interrupting me. And y'all. Is it too much to ask to just get a couple of sentences in? And after snapping at my kids. I was both frustrated with myself and with them. I should speak to them kindly. But also, they should not be interrupting me. I feel guilty for snapping at them. Especially when I see those puppy dog eyes. I feel guilty that I haven't done more to teach them respect. I feel annoyed because, oh my gosh, just go clean your room like I have asked you one million times in the past ten minutes. I'm reminded of why I usually video chat in a different room. I'm torn between feeling like I should be the ever present mom and knowing that it is perfectly okay for my kids to entertain themselves. (Drink of choice this morning: Tazo Perfect Energy Vanilla Spice tea + Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice tea + Coffee mate Funfetti creamer.)

Quarantine log: day 26 Distance learning has been going well. Jojo actually says he likes being more than school because he likes being home with family. However, he added that it is harder that school. I think because all the worksheets. When he said that, that made me realize we need to diversify his learning. I can go off the worksheets (because I am NO lesson planner) and make learning a little more hands on. For example, he was supposed to fill out a worksheet with all the parts of a flower. There were, like, four worksheets that were the same thing. So, instead, we looked at plants and talked about them. We also planted out Venus fly trap and started a science journal. He has video chats with his class once or twice a week. His teacher does a good job making it fun! They've had show and tell, talking about their favorite books, or a rainbow scavenger hunt. I also had a video conference with his teachers to talk about what to expect for the rest of the year. Sch...

Quarantine log: day 12 I felt convicted last night about my exercise during this pandemic. Up until this moment, I haven't really felt that I've been doing anything wrong with my actions. But last night, I thought about the massive crowds that have been at local parks. (More crowds than the Fourth of July. Which, I guess, is significant.) I mean, even on that rainy day, I passed quite a few people on the Swamp Rabbit Trail. (Normally, I'd see maybe one or two people on a rainy day.) By being another body on a high-traffic trail, am I being part of the problem? For a while, my thought has been that I am not part of the problem. They. All the others. All those people who never go outside who are suddenly on MY trails. They are the problem. But the outdoors belongs to everyone. I don't have a greater ownership in it because I am a frequent user. I am, indeed, part of the problem. By being another body, when the problem is ALL THE BODIES...

Quarantine log day 10 Felt blah yesterday. Woke up feeling more blah. Just down. A little depressed. Emotional. Overwhelmed. Negative. My husband had a period of no meetings in the morning, so he encouraged me to go for a run. After having J complete his english & language arts, and math for the day, I let the kids watch Pete The Cat (or Pete and the Cat, as Ruthie calls it!) and got ready to go. I drove to three parking lots on the trail before I found one with open spots. Then I sat in the car for several minutes because I just didn't want to get out. It was cold and dreary outside. I knew I should just go. I knew I'd feel better. But sometimes, it's just hard to get out of the car. It's funny how ten miles can seem way to short somedays and others, three miles seems impossible. Today, was obviously one of the days that three miles seemed impossible. I visualized my turn-around point in my mind and it just seemed so. far. away. I decided t...

My week started off with a trip to Walmart. Monday is my normal grocery shopping day, and we needed a bit of replenishment. It was more crowded at 6AM than other Mondays, but no surprise there! I've been trying to keep the kids on a bit of a schedule. Monday and Tuesday were easier. We woke up, ate, did worksheets, chores, and then played (outside or LEGO) until lunch. Then, they had quiet time followed by tablet time followed by more play time (outside or LEGO) until dinner. And bedtime immediately follows dinner. On both Monday, we went for a hike. On Tuesday, I took the kids to Furman to ride their bikes! Monday night I was able to chat with my mom which was so nice. She is quarantined in the Philippines. But she is doing okay and I'm so glad we were able to chat! I've been able to get in plenty of exercise this week, which I've been very grateful for. The outdoors isn't canceled! Indoor seating at restaurants has been closed! Dr...

Where: Paris Mountain State Park Distance: 10.3 miles Strava link Thursday brought me something I hadn't had in a while. Bright blue skies and both kids in school. So, of course, I took off to the mountains. It didn't occur to me until afterwards that planning a long run up a mountain was awfully ambitious considering I just had my race last weekend. I decided on my route by doing some math: How much time I had divided by what pace I expected to go. I parked at the first shelters, ran around the lake and up towards Sulphur Springs. Up the mountain, down to North Lake, around the lake, up the tough side of Brissy Ridge, and then back down the mountain again. It was when I was struggling up Brissy Ridge, wanting to really push myself, that I realized how much I missed my Tailwind. I don't think I realized until that point how much I depended on my liquid fuel. Candy is fun, but it doesn't have enough calories! Definitely need to make a new order for...