i n • p u r s u i t

"I have no idea what God has in store for me, Grandma. Sometimes, it is just so crazy and you don't know why He does what He does. And you wonder if He really can hear you when you are crying out to Him. And then He gives you a peace about where He has brought you in life. And you realize that no matter where you end up, it will be a place that has been ordained by God. And really, if you've got that, well, no matter where He takes you can be so bad." ----- ♥, Tiffany Anne

Warning: You will probably cry upon watching this. I know I did. Sorry about the Spanish subtitles--it's the only one I could find on YouTube. ♥, Tiffany Anne

Two children have just been put to bed. One is strapped to my chest with the help of the BabyBjörn...a very complicated piece of work! It kills the muscles in that neck/shoulder/back area to wear it, but he loves it. Today is my Janelle's first day back at work which means it's also my first 10-hour day without her since Davis was born. Needless to say, I was pretty darn apprehensive. So far, things have gone well. It's 3:00 which means I have been here for about 7 hours. All the kids are still alive--so that's a plus. To be honest, God has been with me today! It has gone leaps and bounds better than I though it would making me wonder what I was so nervous about. But then again...no one is sick, we didn't have to rush to make it to school, Davis is still blob-ish (i.e. not getting into things). There is a day coming, a day not long from now that will top my worst day ever. But God will help me get through that one too. And really? At the end of the day, even if I ha...

I had lunch with Heather today. It was a wonderful lunch. She came over to my apartment bearing gifts of strawberries and Snapple. "So...let's talk about you?" "Me? Why me? I have too many questions for you!" So I answered questions while I made sandwiches. We packed up our food in grocery bags (because, clearly, we're avid picnic- ers ) and took my car downtown (because hers is filled with Coca-cola crates and extension cords). I had a terrible time parking, but I found a spot on the bridge, so even if I'm a sorry parallel parker , at least it was close to the park. We gathered our grocery bags and walked down to the park. We found a wonderful, shaded spot overlooking the river. We were lucky to find an unoccupied bench, I know. The plaque on it said, "The Thoughtful Spot." I think it may now be one of my favorite places. We ate and chatted. Our topics ranged from graduate school to marriage to pets to apartments. It made me laugh because I re...

I've got nowhere to turn, I've got nowhere to hide, and I've got no alibi, You've been following me, you know my history, and no matter how hard I try, I can't explain away The way I feel today There's only one thing I can say: You, You've found me. You found me and You called me from the wilderness, From my cave of emptiness, Yeah, You, You've found me. You found me in the places of my lonliness You told me there was more than this, You captured me with tenderness, Yeah, You've found me. There was so many days, trying to figure out ways to explain what I feel inside, I tried to fill up my soul without using control, this desire never did subside, I'm ready to give in I know I'll never win The hide and seek that I've been in You, You've found me. You found me and You called me from the wilderness, From my cave of emptiness, Yeah, You, You've found me. You found me in the places of my lonliness You told me there was more than this,...

I woke up early and prayed my heart out. I had lunch w/ Mike I found out that I inherited a few small things from my grandma. I bought a new purse. God answered what I had been praying for. My Federal tax refund check came in the mail. Radiant & Relevant magazines came in the mail. Matisyahu is on the cover of Relevant. I'm sure there's much more to come... ♥Tiffany♥

Today was such a wonderful day. The kids decorated cards for their dad, we had a play date with Sharon & Francesca, and Janelle came home early! It was a good day. Every minute made the day better. Shepherding Group was just wonderful. We discussed the Truth Project a bit and then talked about James 2. (I'm lovin' my new Bible! Three cheers for massively extensive notes!) Afterwards, we shared a ton of prayer request and grouped up and went to pray. I prayed with Katie. I was thankful for her because there were things I had been wanting to talk with someone about and I was able to open up and share with her. It was so incredibly helpful. Praying was difficult though! There were dogs yapping and so the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "Dear Lord, I'm going to pray for focus. I find it hard enough to focus usually but these dogs are making it really hard! So, please give me focus." The dogs didn't stop yapping, but I was able to focus. :-) I stayed...

Sometimes you come across a Bible verse and you get all excited. "Oh wow! Thank you, Lord. This is exactly what has been on my heart lately." The verse was the exact encouragement that you needed to hear it's almost as if it was written just for you. Other times you come across a Bible verse and, while you know that God had you read that verse for a reason, it kind of smacks you across the face. "Oh wow. That was me just yesterday." The verse was the exact wake up call that you needed and it's almost as if it was written just for you. ♥Tiffany♥

I'll write more about the conference later, but here is of one of the songs we sang. I love it. There is nothing more amazing than singing God's praises surrounded by fellow believers. I hope that is what Heaven is like. I'll get to sing my heart out without my voice ever going hoarse. For those of you who didn't get to go, you can go to http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/ and download the messages. Believe me, you'll want to. They were super good. More soon. ♥Tiffany♥ -- Grace unmeasured, vast and free That knew me from eternity That called me out before my birth To bring You glory on this earth Grace amazing, pure and deep That saw me in my misery That took my curse and owned my blame So I could bear Your righteous name Grace paid for my sins And brought me to life Grace clothes me with power To do what is right Grace will lead me to heaven Where I’ll see Your face And never cease To thank You for Your grace Grace abounding, strong and true That makes me long...

Ugly Betty was really good tonight. I went to Crossroads/Crossway/Cross-something (that Christian book store, you know) tonight to find a book that I saw on the Girl Talk blog. "Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart." They speak very highly of it. Of course, Ugly Betty ends at 9. And I watched five minutes of Gray's Anatomy before hauling myself off the couch. So, by the time I got to the bookstore, it was definitely closed. So, I just kept going. I probably could have done a uie (according to Urban Dictionary , that is the proper slang for u-turn) and made it home quicker, but I just kept going. A veer to the right, a right turn at the new Spinx, another right turn onto the freeway and I was back in the right direction. It gave me a little extra time to think and to talk out loud and to pray. That was good. It was helpful. I'm glad that I have been able to have a teeny bit of alone time tonight, too. Even though it's far too warm in my apartment. I called t...

At my church, we're going through the book of Luke. The past few Sundays, however, we've done a series within a series...a mini-series, if you will. It has been about expectations . Boy, I'm pretty sure this was the perfect timing for just about everyone I talked to. Expectations are the worst. I'm serious. Expectations are the only reason we ever get put in a bad mood. You didn't expect a traffic jam on the way to work. You didn't expect the baby to puke all over you. You didn't expect to fail the test. You didn't expect the lights to go out. You didn't expect that skirt to be dirty. "And I could go on and on and on... but who cares ?" (Gnarles Barkley) I'm tired of my own. I'm tired of silly expectations that I know aren't logical at all. I'm tired of pretending like they don't exist. It's killing me. I don't want the expectations to come to a realization. I just want to be able to say, "Everything is good...

It's late, and I should be in bed. But before I go, I just wanted to say a Happy Easter to you all! And as He stands in victory Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me For I am His and He is mine Brought with the precious blood of Christ "In Christ Alone" ♥Tiffany♥

Today at Shepherding Group, instead of doing our usual thing, we watched 'The Passion.' Mike and I were surprised to find that out because we had both just been talking about it and how we felt that we needed to watch it--though I didn't really want to. But it's not exactly a movie that you watch to enjoy. It's a hard movie to watch because it is not just a movie. It's truth. The Passion of Jesus Christ was a real event. I think that, though it makes the movie nearly unbearable at points, the accurately portrayed scourging and crucifixion is a good thing. It hits home. It makes you almost feel that pain. That pain that somebody went through as a man for me . Sometimes, during the movie, when it got really bad, I whispered at the men on TV: "Stop! Stop it!" like I could do anything to make them stop. It made me realize that I can't make them stop because I am them. And he forgave me anyways. Aren’t you the strangest friend there is? They were ye...

"But tension is to be loved When it is like a passing note To a beautiful, beautiful cord." Sixpence None The Richer "Tension is a Passing Note" I just finished Tara Leigh Cobble 's " Here's To Hindsight " last night. I has been a while since I've read a book that I liked so much. I heard her read a snippet on the Radiant podcast once and decided that it might be a book that I would like to read. And anyway, Relevant had it for sale. So I bought it and after much fiasco (which I will cover when the rest of my shipment arrives) it showed up and I became absorbed. God knew exactly what I needed. The last section of "Jane" was probably the part of the book that I will read over and over again. I am such an impatient person. And the knowledge that God is working my life out, even though I cannot see it right now, it so comforting and so very real. Sometimes, that is so hard to grab on to. I so often question what the heck I'm waitin...

I really should be working on the Nation's budget right now. I don't think I've had an 'xoxox' post in a while and I've just got to say what a lucky girl I am. I'm here at Mike's because he's letting me do my laundry while he's out playing ball. Doing your laundry at your boyfriend's house is a tricky thing because doing your laundry involves washing and sorting your underwear. And you don't want your boyfriend to see said underwear. So, it's a good thing that he's playing ball and I don't have to sneaky my freshly washed undies under towels while he's watching TV. But washing laundry is not the only thing that makes me so lucky. Other reasons, as far as our relationship goes, that make me so blessed: He thinks I'm the prettiest girl there is. I think every woman needs a man who thinks she is more beautiful than all the rest. Today, he said, "I think you are more beautiful that I have ever seen you!" Likewis...

I went running yesterday morning. I ran for 1.2 miles. I have since decided that this was a bad idea because it was a Tuesday and days that begin with T are my gym days. And I don't particularly want to go to the gym after I went running that morning. So I think I'll run on MWF (if I wake up early enough) and go to the gym on TT. If I skip running, that's okay. Because it's free. The gym is not. I went running around my block and around the next block down. Which just happens to be where my old church is. You know, the church from when I used to be Catholic. Well, I called Fr. Chris after my run because I needed to talk to him. I owed it to him. As my friend, as my priest, I should have never dropped off the face of the earth without so much as a "so long, and thanks for all the fish." We met after school for about an hour and a half. When I arrived at St. Mary's, my brother and my father were there. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "What...

It's been crazy and I'm not going over the details. I mean, I guess I could say nothing and no one know that anything had happened. But major events happened this weekend and I definitely learned how much I've changed in the past months. I am so grateful that I have such amazing friends in whom I was able to confide. :-) Life is good. We are blessed. Whatever happens, happens and no matter where life goes, I know we're cool. And that God is just and right and wonderful. What amazed me is that I was able to truly know of God's goodness, even when I felt a lot less than good. ♥Tiffany♥ Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. ~Hebrews 3:12-14 (ESV)

I am so happy. So content. Life is so good right now. It is as if everything is as it should be. He's blessed me so much lately. I mean, beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. And it's just super. I'm not a freak of nature, though, you know. Sometimes, I get seriously discontent about things. I wonder what if things changed before I'm ready. I dispair when things don't go my way. I get anxious about things I have to do. And then I remember that when God wants something to happen, He'll give me a peace about it all. But, gosh, I'm just so happy! ♥Tiffany♥

Alex and I had another extended conversation about sin. It's hard to explain sin to a three (four in April) year old. I told him that when he sins, it makes Jesus sad. I asked Alex if he remembered about Jesus dying on the cross. Alex has shown me the picture in his preschoolers bible with Jesus on the cross. He goes into serious mode and looks at the sadly looks at the picture before telling me that "the mean men" put the nails in Jesus and put him on the cross. Alex and I talked about how much it must hurt to have nails in your hands! I told Alex that Jesus did that for him. "We shouldn't sin," I said, "because Jesus died to give us life." Instead of putting him in a regular timeout, I told Alex that I was going to leave the room. I told him that I wanted him to apologize, not to me, but to Jesus. I told him that he should think about what he did wrong and tell Jesus how sorry he was and also how much he loved Jesus. In wonder if this...

I met an angel last night. She said that everyone called her "Miss Mary" and she needed kerosene. I was initially wary of the woman on the side of the road asking for help and even still wary after she got into the car. She mentioned "Shepherd's Gate" though, and so we would be happy to help her out. We ended up not taking her there (to see if she could get kerosene and food vouchers) and took her to the gas station ourselves after a detour to a side of town that, though I live very near, I had only passed, had never gone though. She told us to lock the doors and that she would be right back with the kerosene container. She talked to us the entire time and told us about her life. I'm pretty sure I was blessed just being able to meet her. She prayed with us before we parted ways. Sometimes, I forget how blessed I am and how awesomely God provides for His children. Sometimes, I forget that if we just give it all up to Jesus that He will watch over us and prote...