I used to describe my life as an open book. I would answer any question about my life, no holds barred. Of course, those that took advantage of this to find out more about this Tiffany-person, never asked me any real questions about me. Questions were always about things that I had or had not done, actions or past times and the like.
It's a rare thing to find a person that will take a genuine interest in one's life. How many people do we consider our friends that we honest-to-God, genuinely car about? Not like 'yes I'd be upset if this person got hit by a car' kind of caring, but a sincere interest in the inner-workings of that persons very being.
Everyone knows that when someone asks: How are you? the answer that they are anticipating (and nearly requiring) is: I'm fine. To be less than "fine" is not what people want to know. It puts a person out of their comfort zone to have to comfort others who are less-than-fine. To have to put forth the little extra effor to care is often seen as a little to superfulous.
I am much more comfortable sharing with the surface of myself. To tell people about the daily workings of my life, but not about the inner workings. I will happily share what I did at work or school that day, but I find it a great deal more difficult to talk on a personal level. And maybe this is because it was never asked of me.
I thrive when Michael and I find ourselves at opposite ends of the couch, sipping freshly poured coffee, and discussing philosophy, religion, faith, and whatever else may come across out pensive minds. I learn more philosophy when I'm talking with him than I do in my classes, because instead of the concepts swarming in my poor little head, I have these theories and ideas that suddenly make sense because I'm finally making sense of them. I've searched deeper into what I believe than I ever have in the past because he's asking questions. Not to challenge me and throw me down, like people have done in the past, but out of curiousity. And glib, "this is what they told me to say" answers won't do for someone who really wants to know.
It is a wonderful thing to have genuine conversation about the stuff of life. The stuff that actually matters. You learn more not just about your friend, or whoever the may be taking up the other half of the conversation, but also a lot more about yourself.
It's a rare thing to find a person that will take a genuine interest in one's life. How many people do we consider our friends that we honest-to-God, genuinely car about? Not like 'yes I'd be upset if this person got hit by a car' kind of caring, but a sincere interest in the inner-workings of that persons very being.
Everyone knows that when someone asks: How are you? the answer that they are anticipating (and nearly requiring) is: I'm fine. To be less than "fine" is not what people want to know. It puts a person out of their comfort zone to have to comfort others who are less-than-fine. To have to put forth the little extra effor to care is often seen as a little to superfulous.
I am much more comfortable sharing with the surface of myself. To tell people about the daily workings of my life, but not about the inner workings. I will happily share what I did at work or school that day, but I find it a great deal more difficult to talk on a personal level. And maybe this is because it was never asked of me.
I thrive when Michael and I find ourselves at opposite ends of the couch, sipping freshly poured coffee, and discussing philosophy, religion, faith, and whatever else may come across out pensive minds. I learn more philosophy when I'm talking with him than I do in my classes, because instead of the concepts swarming in my poor little head, I have these theories and ideas that suddenly make sense because I'm finally making sense of them. I've searched deeper into what I believe than I ever have in the past because he's asking questions. Not to challenge me and throw me down, like people have done in the past, but out of curiousity. And glib, "this is what they told me to say" answers won't do for someone who really wants to know.
It is a wonderful thing to have genuine conversation about the stuff of life. The stuff that actually matters. You learn more not just about your friend, or whoever the may be taking up the other half of the conversation, but also a lot more about yourself.
Nice post Tiff.
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